02 - Editation

One of few vocal tracks on "Editation", "I Used to" explores a reflection on a depression spell that Beyette had in his adolescence that caused him to think twice when making fun of depressed people, something he used to do back when he was more happy-go-lucky. "Sometimes greif comes to some people more than others and throughout high school I was very happy-go-lucky, experimenting with things and not really having much care in the world. When I was around someone with responsibilities and greif and seriousness I would often think something was wrong with them, like as if they were given the same deck of cards as me and somehow not getting it. Things started stacking up on my end eventually and it helped me see the other side of the coin, because I know that when you are in greif, the last thing you want is some energetic person telling you to cheer up and forget all your cares. That you are missing some point on top of everything else you are thinking or worried about. I probably made a lot of people feel invalidated with their feelings on something, maybe something really bad happened to them on the day I saw them, or maybe they were dealing with something really hard in their life. This song is sort of a vow to not ever just quickly use that method when dealing with people's greif. There are a thousand things that could be going on in one person's mind."